The Watchman by Robert Crais
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

"Pike's mouth twitched, and Cole wondered if Larkin had noticed that Pike never laughed or smiled. As if the part of a man who could feel that free was dead in Pike, or buried so deep that only a twitch could escape."

Less than a month ago I reviewed here Chasing the Darkness by Mr. Crais. Although far from the class of his early The Monkey's Raincoat or L.A. Requiem I recommended Chasing as quite a readable and interesting novel. Well, I can only marginally recommend The Watchman (2007), primarily for the - quite possibly unintended - comedic value of Joe Pike's characterization. While Mr. Crais' early novels were often termed "modern So Cal noir," there is not an iota of noir in The Watchman. Instead we have fast action, frequent killings, and Joe Pike as the coolest, most bad-ass, awesomest warrior, a grotesquely exaggerated caricature of a supremely manly man of very few words and no laughs or smiles.

22-year-old Larkin Conner Barkley, a heir to an obscenely rich family, worth five or so billion dollars herself, is enjoying a four-am. ride on the streets of L.A. in her Aston Martin. There happens a collision with a Mercedes sedan whose occupants hurry to drive away before she calls 911. Apparently, one of the people whom Larkin has seen in the Mercedes does not want to be seen. She becomes a federal witness, due to testify before the federal grand jury since the guy in the other car may be an indicted murderer, with narco-trade connections. Federal protection bungles their job: there are two attempts to assassinate her. So it's Joe Pike to the rescue, the single most powerful protection agent in the entire universe.

Joe Pike is so manly, so masculine that he wears sunglasses at night.

"Cole had seen Pike do push-ups on his thumbs; push-ups using only the two index fingers. Pike popped walnuts like soap bubbles [...]"

He is in total control of his body and his mind (!)

"His heart rate slowed. His breathing slowed. His body and mind were quiet. He could wait like that for days [...]"

In the defense of the author, the reader will find a fragment in the novel where Joe Pike seems a little like a real person: we learn about events from Pike's past when he was an officer in LAPD.

On the other hand it is hard to forgive the author for inclusion of a comedy thread that features the forensic expert John Chen and his desperate struggle to get "poontang" and Pike's acceptance. The Chen thread makes it obvious that Mr. Crais still treats Joe Pike as a serious, plausible character, which amazes this reviewer. Also, writing sentences like

"[...] eyes showing the kind of pain you'd feel if you were being crushed, as if the last bit of love were being wrung from your heart."

indicate that the author relaxed the standards of his prose.

I am still recommending the novel, albeit just barely, because of the interesting plot. More Cole less Pike, please! Or at least have Pike stumble, please, just once, just for fun. It would make the novel better - there is nothing more human than failure.

Two and a half stars.

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